This past year has been one of many changes in my life, personally, professionally and hands down emotionally. I became a first time mom in July 2016 and while we “planned” our pregnancy I was faced with the life we created and how she would forever change our lives.
The last 10 years I have focused on my career and advancing myself within my field. That focus has moved me to 3 different states, 4 companies, 5 apartments, 1 house and a partridge in a pear tree. But seriously, my life was all about work, travel and partying just as it should be for a 20-something year old! Making the shift into motherhood I THOUGHT would be a natural transition for me as I had “prepared” for what was to come, I had all the apps, trackers and books ….AHAHAHAAHAHA foolish me, right?
Reality set in when all my help went back home, my husband returned to work and I no longer had anyone getting my meds for me, making breakfast, lunch and dinner or holding Bella while I slept in 30 minute intervals. Bella and I were staring at each other like, whats next? Maternity leave officially started and I had to do it all from 7:00am – 7pm on top of recovering from a cesarean delivery, discovering I had torn abdominal muscles [known as diastase recti] and learning to breastfeed my baby, my day was packed to say the least! In fact I had surpassed a full days’ work.
All of the “what to expect” knowledge suddenly became a blur in my head and I was in the trenches, submerged chin deep trying to dodge all of the unexpected grenades of caring for a newborn. My emotions and hormones were on another level the only ray of sunshine was my hair was POPPIN! [this was pre losing my edges of course, there’s a post on this topic coming soon lol] But having full flowing hair didn’t matter when I was terrified to leave the house, to squeeze into my old clothes, to drive around the block all out of fear the baby would start crying which would cause me to lose focus and crash and makeup?? Hahahahaha please.
I tried all types of things to maintain sanity; I attended a mommy group hosted by our hospital, I would sit in the Nordstrom Mommy’s lounge chatting with other women [go there, its great therapy!] and walking around the mall just to try and feel a sense of normalcy [whatever that is].
The idea of balance became equally overwhelming when I went back to work, we hired a nanny and THAT was a process in and of itself… I juggled working from home, exclusively nursing, traveling once a month to NY… man, I was fried!
Its important for me to lay the landscape of where I was mentally because my mental state had a lot to do with wanting to share my stories on this journey. My hope is that some of you ladies can relate and know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, YOU ARE THE SH*T…& KEEP DOING YOU MAMA.
I promise to make this platform insightful, engaging and most of all fun so thanks for stopping by and supporting!